We Regret to Inform You… : Dealing With Rejection In Academia
I still remember staring at these words on my screen, feeling my heart sink. It was a dream position I had applied for, and there would be no second chance – the position was unique, and similar opportunities wouldn’t come up again anytime soon.
As a researcher and now as a coach, I’ve experienced and witnessed how academic rejections can hit particularly hard when they seem to close doors permanently. Whether it’s that one-time grant that perfectly matched your research, a position at your dream institution, or a special fellowship that only accepts early-career researchers – some opportunities feel irreplaceable.
What makes these rejections especially challenging?
- The feeling that you’ve „missed your chance“
- The absence of comparable alternatives
- The fear that your career path is now permanently altered
- The struggle to find a new direction
Through my own journey and working with researchers, I’ve learned that while we can’t change the reality of lost opportunities, we can change how we process and grow from them.
💪 Here’s what has helped me and my coaching clients:
- Allow the Grief
Yes, grief. It’s okay to genuinely mourn an opportunity that won’t come back. Take time to acknowledge the loss before rushing to find solutions.
- Challenge the „Only Path“ Thinking
While some opportunities are unique, there are usually multiple paths to our core goals. Ask yourself: „What was I hoping to achieve with this opportunity?“ Often, alternative routes emerge when we focus on the underlying aim.
- Create New Possibilities
Sometimes, a closed door forces us to think creatively. Some of my most interesting career developments came after initial rejections pushed me to explore options I hadn’t considered before.
Quick Practice: When facing a seemingly irreplaceable lost opportunity, try this:
- Write down what specifically made this opportunity special to you
- List three core elements you were hoping to gain
- Brainstorm alternative ways to achieve these elements, even if they look very different from the original opportunity
Remember: Our journeys in academia – and life – rarely follow a straight line. Sometimes, what feels like a devastating „no“ can redirect us toward unexpected but equally valuable paths.
How do you deal with rejections that feel irreplaceable? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Resources:
You want to learn more about the scientific background and effects of a Growth Mindset? Check out Carol Dweck’s work:
- Dweck, Carol S. 2006. Mindset: The new psychology of success. Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York, NY, US: Random House.
- Stanford Alumni. „Developing a Growth Mindset with Carol Dweck“. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiiEeMN7vbQ
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